Swept Away (2002)

romantic drama

directed by : Guy Ritchie
featuring : Madonna - Adriano Giannini - Jeanne Tripplehorn - Bruce Greenwood - Elizabeth Banks
running time : 1 hour 29 minutes
Guy Ritchie, best known for the tough-guy crime comedies Snatch and Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, goes for a change of pace with this remake of Lina Wertmuller's 1974 comedy-drama, with his wife Madonna in tow. Amber Leighton (Madonna) is the wife of Dr. Anthony Leighton (Bruce Greenwood), the wealthy and successful head of a pharmaceutical company. While Amber seemingly leads a charmed life, it doesn't appear to make her very happy, and she often inflicts her typically foul mood on those around her, especially the hired help. Anthony decides to surprise Amber with a cruise from Italy to Greece, with four of their friends in tow, but Amber doesn't much care for the notion. Amber feels the yacht they've hired is far beneath her standards, and she makes Giuesppe (Adriano Giannini), the first mate of the crew, the primary target of her dissatisfaction. Giuesppe, an ardent leftist, feels nothing but contempt for Amber, but for the sake of his job he can't say a word in response to her attacks. One day, Amber declines an invitation to go diving with her friends, but later changes her mind, demanding that Giuesppe take her to the underwater caves. Giuesppe warns Amber that a storm is brewing, and his prediction proves to be right on the money; soon, Amber and Giuesppe are stranded on a desert island, and suddenly they discover the tables are turned. Giuesppe, a trained fisherman and outdoorsman, knows how to survive on the island, while Amber is utterly helpless, and he forces her to cower under his commands in order to survive; before long, their mutual antagonism has begun to turn into something approaching unfettered lust. Adriano Giannini, who plays Giuesppe, is the son of Giancarlo Giannini, who played the equivalent role in Wertmuller's original film.

Ritchie's remake of Swept Away became one of the more notable turkeys in the already bird-laden filmography of Madonna. Ritchie deserves some credit for attempting something different from the films that brought him acclaim. His early films displayed a love of filmmaking and an ease behind the camera, but Swept Away is so lacking in story, thematic resonance, or interesting characters that the few fancy montage sequences he throws in feel like desperate attempts to keep an audience he was smart enough to know he had lost. His actors do not help. Giannini has some scruffy charm, but he looks like he knows this isn't supposed to be his film. Never has Madonna's lack of ability onscreen been more apparent. While lounging with her lover on their deserted beach, Madonna contorts herself into unnatural positions in order to prevent the possibility of revealing anything erotic about her remarkably athletic physique. This makes the audience constantly aware that she knows we are watching her as an actress. She doesn't look like someone lounging on an ideal paradise with a lover, but like an actress who is unable to get over herself. Madonna's canny promotional ability would indicate she was smart enough to realize that the part of a cold, rich, bitch would allow her to spoof her public persona, but a combination of pride and lack of talent will not allow her to play the fool. She might have gotten an audience to laugh with her, but as it is now, anyone who sees the film will most certainly be laughing at her. Swept Away comes close to achieving all-time camp-classic status, especially considering the disastrously serious would be-tearjerker third act that asks the audience to believe real emotions were actually shared between the two leads. Had Madonna the conviction to allow people to laugh at her or Ritchie the skill to keep the entire affair light and breezy, Swept Away might have worked as something other than another Madonna movie punch line.